Monday, December 3, 2012

Pet

I do not do well with pets.  I don't do well with plants.  I don't do well with my own children.

Something about having to meet the needs of someone or something other than myself just does not work for me at all.

However.

Sometimes I feel a longing.  A longing for companionship. 
I cannot get what I need from people.

Why?

Because people generally don't respond well to people who hate them.  They kinda sense those sorts of things and annoyingly start to hate you back.  And unfortunately I have not thusfar been successful in becoming some kind of evil overlord with idiot minions who are required to pretend they love everything about me all the time (You know, like a Kardashian.  SNAP!)

Also I cannot get what I need from normal pets.  Like dogs.  I hate dogs.  I find everything about them annoying and/or disgusting.  I can't stand the way they stupidly bark at everything.  I can't stand that they want my food. I can't stand that their hair is on EVERY FUCKING THING!  I can't stand the bodily functions and/or fluids.

I'm allergic to cats.

I have a bird, but he hates me and I abandoned him like some kind of asshole.

However, even someone like me needs to be LOVED!  

Enter these little bastards:


I am trying with every fiber of my being to resist.  I know my real brain would hate having to feed, dress up in a bee costume, and clean up after the stupid thing once I got it, BUT OMG! THEY ARE SO CUTE!!!

Someone hit me in the head with a hammer.  I'm about to make a terrible, horrifying mistake.




1 comment:

Captain Attitude said...

You are the last blogger who actually blogs~! All the others I used to read have disappeared. Great job girl~