Thursday, September 13, 2012

Comme Si, Comme Sa

While having our kids branded geniuses for finding their way to school everyday and more than occasionally doing their homework was fun and all, it didn't seem like they were likely to succeed in real life in any way shape or form with expectations that low.

So this time, I did EXTENSIVE, INTENSIVE research on schools in the CrazyHellTown area and after months of calls to principles, analysis of curriculum, and stalking teachers on FaceBook, finally settled the schools that could appropriately and adequately challenge my children!

Did you believe that? You're an idiot.

What actually happened is days before school started, while we were still living in a motel room, I googled "Best Schools CrazyHellTown" and helloooooo school that popped up first! That's where my kids are going!!

I participated in late-late-late registration and got them into all the classes they needed which makes me wonder why parents go to early-registration when all the other responsible parents go thus creating lines and waiting and other nonsense I can totally do without.

Based on her straight A performance in her previous school, the academic counsellors thought it would be totally cool to put Mini-Fantabulous in all honors classes.  I wasn't so sure, given that I knew she barely lifted a finger to earn those grades and that I suspected she'd have to lift lots of fingers to equal her performance in this school.  She is not the lifting lots of fingers type.

However, she assured me that she would lift lots of fingers so she is now enrolled in an over-achiever amount of honors classes.

It was only when it came time to pick electives that weirdness started.  I signed her up for Spanish.  Obviously.  She is going to someday marry a rich Spaniard and I am going to live with them in their villa on the beach in Malaga.  How could that happen without spanish fluency?

But Mini-Fantab was thinking me living with her and her rich French husband in a villa on the beach in Nice sounded better.

Although I prefer Spain, I compromised.  She could take both.  We were happy with our compromise.  The academic advisor wasn't.

You would have thought we'd just suggested she take skydiving with the option of jumping without a parachute.

"Spanish and French at the same time? AT THE SAME TIME!?!? ARE YOU SURE?!?! IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE? IS THAT EVEN LEGAL?!?!" He asked.

I assured him it probably was. 

He went to consult with the head advisor.

"Spanish and French at the same time? AT THE SAME TIME!?!? IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE? IS THAT EVEN LEGAL?!?!" She asked.

They both came in and double teamed us.

"Spanish and French at the same time? AT THE SAME TIME!?!? IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE? IS THAT EVEN LEGAL?!?!"

"IT'S NEVER BEEN DONE BEFORE!!"

"THOSE LANGUAGES ARE TOO DIFFERENT TO BE TAKEN TOGETHER!" (?)

"IT WILL NEVER WORK!!"

I thought about the kids in Belgium who learn, like, 50 languages before they graduate elementary school.  I thought about the kid in my high-school who took Japanese and Spanish.  I even thought about Mini-Fantabulous taking French and Spanish in middle school a few years ago.  It totally seemed like it could work.

So we lived extra-super dangerously that day and signed up for Spanish and French.  I can almost smell the ocean breeze from the balcony of our (my) ocean villa in Malaga or Nice.


2 comments:

Blackchild said...

Yeah who cares about that I'm interested in hearing your thoughts on the break up of Bodyrock tv. Did you roll over to Zuskalight or stay with charlesjames?

James said...

My school wouldn't let me take Spanish and French. And now I'm only bilingual.

Go get it, mama fantabulous.