Monday, February 13, 2012

Princess Ugly Hair.

A short list of things that have gone wrong at work.

1. I like the manager that everyone else hates. The call her The Crow. She doesn't smile back when you smile at her. She is socially awkward and seems to hate everyone, including me. What's not to like?

2. There is a 17 year old australian with the cutest accent and the cutest everything else with tri-citizenship in England, Australia and Europe. I want to rip her face off for living in CrazyHellTown and working at FuckingCapris.

3. A co-worker told me I look like, "That chick in the Princess Diaries, but before the makeover, with the glasses and the frizzy hair." Thanks, bitch.

4. Size 20 'skinny jeans' that are too small are the saddest things in the world.

5. Customers.

6. Customers who want things.

7. Co-workers.

8. Co-workers who expect me to do things.

9. The embarrassment of realizing you're singing along to and have memorized every word to a Selena Gomez song.

10. That shirt is hideous. Why are you even thinking of buying it?

11. You're kid is ugly. Make it stop talking to me so I can stop pretending I don't want to stab it in the neck.

12. Fuck you and your holy grail-like obsession with perfectly folded and stacked jeans, Manager who keeps threatening to fire me over my inability to give a Martha Stewart-like fuck.

13. Stop looking at me like that, male co-worker. I'm literally twice your age. Remember? Your mother and I talked about the pros and cons of you going to community college when she gave me a ride home from work? Even if I were single I wouldn't touch your 'still in high-school ass' with ten foot pole. You'r mom's cool though.

14. Stop looking at me like that, female co-worker. I've been working here three months and I don't know your name. I will probably never know it. Get over it.

15. And most importantly of all, fuck you for your cheap clothes added to an employee discount added to my lovely 14yr old. Please ban her from the store so I can keep my paycheck.

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