Tuesday, September 20, 2011

Your Mom Goes To College

I decided it was time to have a talk with my 13 y/o. It was inspired by that retched Katy Perry song, 'Last Friday Night.' There's a lot of fucked up shit going in in that song. So much so that the entire song is pretty much shit coated in a gag-worthy saxophone solo.

Me: Don't get so drunk that you black out. You'll kill all your brain cells and become retarded. Also never leave your drink unattended! You'll get drugged and raped.

Her: Why would I be drinking?

Me: Kids go to parties and bars when they get older.

Her: But when I'm in college, I'll be too busy studying to go out drinking.

Me: (!) Yeah . . . that's what I meant . . . STUDY!!

I nearly died!! How fucking cute! What a silly naive little thing she is: She thinks we can afford to send her to college!


Sling Khidorah said...

You'll kill all your braincells [sic] and become retarded.

Wrong! I was retarded before I went to college and started drinking.

SuperFantabulous said...

Did I spell braincell wrong? Guess you're not the only one. Now I obviously have to fix it so people don't know.