Friday, July 8, 2011

What I Wore

Lest you think that everything I say on this blog is a complete and utter exaggeration or fabrication, I've decided to grace you with evidence of how SuperFantabulous my fashion sense is.

First of all, let me preface this by saying that CrazyHellTown is fucking hot. Let me also preface this by saying that I'm a crazy, stubborn, bitch. It's 101 today. Did I turn the air conditioner on in my apartment? Hell to the fucking no.

Why? Don't ask stupid questions. Moving on.

One of my guilty pleasures is a blog called "What I Wore." When my life sucks, I like to make it worse by looking at the blog of a girl who has made a success out of herself by taking pictures of what she wears everyday. Life is stupid and pointless. Did you know that? Well, now you do.

The reason for the CrazyHellTown hotness story from earlier is that I love my new boots. I try to wear them as much as possible. This proves extremely uncomfortable given that they're too small and its 101 degrees outside and I've got my legs swathed in a leather-esque substance from toe to knee.

I do it anyway. Because I've never loved anything so much as I love my new boots.

In addition to my new boots, I've never loved anything so much as a pair of old sweatpants My Teen bought herself in Korea. Somehow, despite their too smallness and they're belonging to my Teen-ness, I managed to take them over. My Teen is powerful, but even she is no match for my snatchiness.

Another thing I love more than anything is a hot pink sportsbra I bought at Target for 1.97. My gym back in RainyTown was right next door to Target and when I could muster the strength to endure clothes shopping I would cruise the 75% off aisles and occasionally find something wonderful. Enter the hot pink with silver stripes sports bra.

Finally, I've never loved anything so much as I love a tank top I bought three years ago at Abercrombie and Fitch. I happened to be there on a day they were having some kind of crazy sale. I bought loads of clothes for super cheap, which is the only way I buy clothes. Now, three years later it might be falling apart and stained, but who the fuck cares. I love it and I'll wear what I want, Bitch!

What better way to express my love than to wear all my favorite clothes at once and as often as possible?!

Thus, brace yourself for "What I wore":



This is an outfit I wore recently to Cosco. No, it was not weird being the only one in a bra-showing, ass clinging, cleavage revealing, boots clomping outfit in a sea of conservative republican housewives on their way home from church.

I think having PINK in huge black letters on my ass really brings the outfit together and my ass color is important information the god-fearing housewives in CrazyHellTown should have immediate visual access too. It's super relevant and shit.

3 comments:

Sarah said...

You are my fucking hero! oh, and I thought this post was called Why I Whore. A totally different title than it actually is. My bad.

Sling Khidorah said...

I think having PINK in huge black letters on my ass really brings the outfit together and my ass color is important information the god-fearing housewives in CrazyHellTown should have immediate visual access to. It's super relevant and shit.

"I'll take Veracity for a $1000, Alex."

SuperFantabulous said...

Sarah, not surprising. My real question though is, why aren't I everyone's hero yet?
Sling: Chicken, don't go changing your name without warning. It confuses and frightens me. I like that veracity has ass in it.