Wednesday, June 8, 2011

What Fresh Hell Is This?

For those of you who don't know, I'm now somewhere very hot, very flat and very strange. I'll have to think of a name for this fictional-type city. SweatyFuckTown? HotFlatSprawllyShitCity? I don't know.

All I can say so far is that anywhere that has a Whole Foods every two blocks is somewhere I might be able to get along with.

That is unless in my excitement at encountering a tower of cheap organic watermelons at the first Whole Foods I wander into, I dislodge the watermelon serving as the foundation for the watermelon tower, thus causing the bulbous fruit pyramid to crumble, sending watermelons toppling into the 'Organic Fruit and Veg Disinfectant' display. Spray bottles of organic vegetable cleaner went everywhere. It was loud. Everyone stared.

I couldn't move for a few seconds, my nefarious watermelon frozen in mid-air. Suddenly out of nowhere a Whole Foods guy came to help. He was old and began picking up all the bottles of cleaner I'd sent to the floor.

I put my ill gotten watermelon in the cart and wasn't sure what else to do but help pick up the cleaner.

"No, it's OK, I'll do it." He said.

"No, I can help." I said, feeling like I was doing way more harm than good, but I couldn't let some old guy pick up my enormous mess.

So I continued 'helping' and he continued telling me to go away until we'd put everything roughly back where it went.

Luckily, no watermelons were harmed in the process. And more importantly, foundational watermelons taste best and I enjoyed mine for breakfast.

I also found joy when we went into Natural Grocers. They had bags of overripe organic bananas for a buck. They are my new favorite store. Forever.

Since we've been stressed out and not that into preparing food, I've been eating waaaaaaay more bananas than anyone thought humanly possible. At least ten a day. Frightening.


James said...

I'm so excited to hear your thoughts on the TNTP high impact teaching strategies.

.....the correct answer is: they fucking suck.

SuperFantabulous said...

Haha! Sounds like you're having every bit as much fun as I am.