Tuesday, May 24, 2011

Here We Go Again.

So it's been decided. We're going to the far away state to pretend like we have anything to offer high needs children in a high needs school for a year.

I think my only option is to be dragged along in a semi-comatose state. After having a complete meltdown this weekend, I discovered two things:

1. Crying actually does make you feel better! I hate crying. I don't like it when I do it and I really don't like it when other people do it. I come from a long line of non-criers.

Most of my crying occurs during completely unnecessary moments, like during that Christian the Lion video. When he reunites with those two guys that saved him from a pet shop and remembers them after all those years! Tear!

When I'm so stressed out I can hardly move, I think, "Gosh. I really feel like crying."

So then I try. And nothing happens. It's like when you're going to sneeze and then just before the explosion happens, it evaporates. I put on a very convincing show for myself, but the tears just won't come.

This weekend I discovered the trick. Tell someone else your sob story. It sounds so much more heartbreaking that way. It's almost like it's not happening to you. It's like watching a lifetime movie starring someone totally hot, just like yourself.

2. Speaking of totally hot, My Teen is a carbon copy image of her Mom in more ways than one. Watch out world! Seriously. Be afraid.

I was complaining about how I'm so not into 'playing teacher' that I feel like I'm going to drop dead just to avoid the whole situation.

Her response?

"Don't do that. If you die, Daddy will probably marry someone nasty."

My response?

Fall over laughing, "HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! Really? That's the only thing you would be worried about?"

Her response to my response?

"What. He probably would."

She clearly did not see what the big deal was. When her SuperFantabulous Mummy drops dead, what else should she be concerned about but the hotness of her future stepmother?

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