Tuesday, April 5, 2011

Everyone Loves Me!

I got into every teaching program I applied too. Both the Alternative Certification things and the local University things totally want me. I am just that awesome. So what if I'm 35 and living with family and driving my aunts car. That does not diminish my coolness factor one bit, so please, just accept it and move on.

Mr. AwesomeCool got accepted first so I was seriously pissed off and feeling less hot. Turns out the Alt Cert thing was a little bit miffed that I had a random name change in the middle of my epically lengthy college career. Thanks to my equally epic shiftiness, I changed majors and colleges no less than five times and took about 10 years to get my bullshit degree.

Then eight years in, I finally decided the marriage was perhaps going to stick so I changed my last name (a decision I made rather impulsively and sometimes regret, although AwesomeCool's last name is way cooler than mine which ultimately seemed far more important than anything else.)

In order to make things as complicated and suspicious-looking as possible I decided to change my first name too. Don't worry, it's not weird or anything. I had very, very well thought out, extremely sensical reasons that have nothing to do with escaping from prison or hiding from the mob.

So I faxed the legal documentation, thus proving that I did in fact graduate from college and am not some weird-named impostor and The Alt Cert Thing immediately offered me a position.

But now that it's finally happened, the thought of teaching middle/high schoolers is freaking me the fuck out.

Also, there's that whole moving to the other side of the country part.

Having to go places and do things are really not my thing.

However, I need only go back through my blog a few years to discover that I have completely managed to do just that on several occasions.

Sigh. Why oh why must I be so fucking desirable?

2 comments:

James said...

I went to 5 colleges too. and got a masters in Spain. My life = super sketchy and impossible to trace as well.

SuperFantabulous said...

I'd find that extremely attractive if it didn't give me the feeling that we might be related.