Saturday, February 5, 2011

SuperFantabulous Confrontation

In true Superfantabulous form, I decided to not wait for the votes to come in (everyone seems to have forgotten me anyway so there probably wouldn’t have been votes of statistical significance) and went with

A: Confront the mother fucker.

I park in front of the post office and hand my phone to Mini-SuperFantabulous who is staunchly against my choice of option A.

"What is going confronting him going to solve? Your application isn't going to get there any sooner!"

"Nothing, but he sent my application to fucking Kent, Washington and he can't get away with it!"

I hand her my phone, "Be ready to call 911 if you hear shots or if he chases me out here." I had no idea exactly how postal this guy had the potential of becoming.

I walk into the Podunk post office and I’m immediately thrown off. The guy at the desk looks nothing like the guy I remembered. In my imagination he was a foot taller, 50 lbs heavier and had wild, bushy grey hair.

This guy was short, and had a haircut. I wasn’t about to look like a fool, confronting the wrong postal postal worker, so I hade to make sure it was my postal postal worker, “Are you the guy that was working here last Thursday?”

“Yes.” He said very condescendingly.

“Do you remember me?”

“Yes.” He said somewhat less condescendingly.

“Well, I would really like to know why the package I sent from here ended up in Kent, Washington.”

“Are you accusing me of mis-directing your mail?”

“It seems very suspicious after how infuriated you were that I came in 5 minutes to closing.”

“Actually it was two minutes.”

“Actually my receipt says my transaction was finished at two minutes to closing so I got here at least five minutes before.”

“Well they only way that would happen is if the zip code was wrong. Did you enter the wrong zip code?”

Laughing at his stupid suggestion I answer, “No. I did not enter the wrong zip code. The zip codes between Kent and where it was going are completely different. So no. Absolutely not.”

“Trust me I know the zip codes."

"Well then, you would know that that wouldn't happen."

"Do you have the tracking number?”

“Yes, I have it right here.”

“I have no idea how it got to Kent, but I had nothing to do with that.”

“Well it seems very suspicious considering the way you treated me last time and I was willing to look over your incredibly rude behavior, because I worked in customer service and I know people can be annoying, but now that it disappeared and showed up in Kent it seems like too much of a coincidence."

"I would not purposefully send your mail to the wrong place."

"Well I arrived during normal business hours which means you have to mail my package and be courteous.”

“And I do apologize for that, I was in a hurry to get out. “

“I understand. Everyone has a bad day.”

“I have no idea why it went to Kent.” He says after entering the number on the computer, “If you could get the envelope back, maybe we could figure out what happened.”

“I will, because it was a graduate school application which has now missed the deadline. Have a nice day.” I said as a marched out.

Confrontation complete!


Chicken Wire, the Harbinger of Heavenly Annotation said...

I'm looking forward to part three of this sordid tale.

Danielle said...

Me too. BTW, I totally would have voted A if I read your blog before now.
But, your application should be fine, if it was postmarked before the deadline.