Sunday, December 26, 2010

Merry Fucking Christmas@@###!!! ESL Winter and Summer Lesson Plans!

For a lovely Christmas present, I offer you my lesson plans. Some of you may say, "Thanks for nothing SuperFantabulous, my Winter camps are over!"


To those of you, I say, "Stop being a whiny fucking bitch! Use them for Summer! No one will know the difference!"


You should also know that I designed these lessons to require the least amount of effort. You might also notice my spacing and punctuation is hard to follow. There might also be spelling mistakes and links that no longer work as well as crazy ideas that go nowhere. Tough shit, I trust you to figure it out. I'm much to lazy to provide proper spelling, sanity, and spacing for you.


Also, I didn't use most of these activities because I soon discovered that having them make a 'book' of everything took up a lot of time.


For example, having the kids make an "All About Me Book" where they make a page for their favorite food, favorite animal, favorite color, favorite season, favorite holiday, etc and drawing pictures related to each favorite and writing "My Favorite Food is . . . . My Favorite Animal Is . . . " on every page took care of a good hour an a half of Winter camp and they can take it home to impress their parents.


So make sure you have access to a stack of printer paper and colored pens.


I soon realized that printing out Bingo cards was completely unnecessary and a huge waste of paper. Instead, have the kids turn over one of the worksheets you've already used and draw a five by five grid (or bigger number, depending on how much time you plan playing this game) on the back.


Then write thirty or so words on the board that have to do with your theme (or anything that pops into your head, really) and have them randomly insert them into their grid. I usually played till everyone had their card completely blacked out. Yay! Another forty five minutes gone and a tree saved!


If you see 'Flash Cards' don't be a douche and print out a bunch of stuff and get all fancy with laminating and magnatizing to the white board!! And don't be a double douche trying to transfer stuff from your English computer and use it on a Korean computer with a flash drive! I didn't have that option, since my work computer was in Korean. I couldn't figure out how to do a damn thing with it.


Avoid all that noise, by using google docs to create a 'presentation'. Steal pictures from the internet and drag them and size them and write a title. Now you've got flashcards! And all you need is a computer with internet to use them!!


The name tags are made from a regular sheet of paper folded into fourths. They must write their name on it and maybe a team name, if you're into that sort of thing, and then make a triangle, gluing or taping the bottom (the edges) two fourths together. Then they have the perfect thing to stuff all their unwanted garbage into, that you won't discover until they've left after the last day of camp! Huzzzzahhh!


You must have them learn the All Together Song by the Beatles (it's under Summer camp). Have them make a five or six page book with the lyrics all written down and pictures the remind them of what the fuck they're saying. Make them practice it at least four times every day. Then on the last day of camp, make them perform it and put it in YouTube. That was my dream and I almost had it, but I forgot to bring my camera on the last day of camp. Sad.


I think the infamous African Animals video is still lurking in there. Use extreme caution! You do not want enormous rhino boners ruining an otherwise completely educational experience!


Oh and don't forget: The recipe should always be cheese and strawberry jam sandwiches which the kids should cut with a fork and knife.


Monday’s Theme: All About Me!

Nametags!

Ask students their names and how to spell them

Students decorate a nametag.

They may choose an English name to go along with their Korean name.

Me Song

(Elmo's Song)

Students will listen and learn Elmo’s song.

Students will change the lyrics to match their own names.

We will discuss favorite things.

(Favorite Colors Song)

Students will fill out My Favorite Things worksheet

(4th)Favorite Things Worksheet

Students will make an ‘All About Me’ book listing their favorite things.
(Food, animal, season, sport, color, book)

Students will read their books to their friends

Students will present their books to the class

Practice Favorite things song:

Favorite Things Song

Tuesday’s Theme: Body Parts

Body part flashcards

5 Senses worksheet

5 Senses Book

Sing Head and Shoulders

Learn Beatles “I want to hold your hand” Song

Watch body parts video

Sesame Street Body Parts Video

Play Draw Me a Monster

Draw Me A Monster Game

Play Simon says

Body Parts worksheet (Body Parts Worksheet)

Play Face Race (Face Race Game)

Wednesday

“Food”

Students will brainstorm foods (healthy and unhealthy, fruits, vegetables). Students will complete a food word search.

Busy Beaver Junk Food
Read a story
Book Index
What I eat book

Make a recipe

Students will play food hangman

Food video

Bert's Food Rap

Grover Restaurant Video

Grover Restaurant Video

Thursday’s Theme: Animals!

Students will learn about arctic animals

Arctic Anmals Photo Gallery

Arctic Animals Video

Students will draw their favorite polar animal


African Animals

Take A Breath (African Animals Video)

Elephant Song

Sally The Camal

Animal Bus

Play Duck, Duck Goose

Arctic animal bingo



Boa Constrictor Song

Rainforest Sound Video

Animal Bingo

Watch video about winter clothing

Sesame Street Winter Clothing Video

Winter clothing flashcards

Students fill out winter worksheet


Polar Express

Madagascar 2


Friday’s theme: Christmas!

Christmas theme flashcards


Students will fill out worksheet What's in Santa's Bag?

We Wish You A Merry Christmas Song

All I want for Christmas

"All I Want For Christmas Is You" Song

Christmas Worksheet

Students will color worksheet Christmas Things

Christmas Things Worksheet

Students will make Christmas decorations. We will learn a Christmas song a and watch a Christmas movie.

Transportation
Transportation Bingo
4th/5th grade transportation worksheet
3rd grade Transportation coloring
Family and friends
Simon Says
Happy and You Know It song
(Happy:Clap)
Draw my family (3rd)
Family Album
Family Tree (5th)
Rock Paper Scissors Family Game
All Together Now(3rd, 4th, 5th grade)

Draw me a monster
Musical Chairs (11 chairs 12 students!)
Food Clapping vocabulary Game: Food. Animal. Body Part


Summer Camp!!
Warm Up
Sit Down, Clap, Stand Up!
Line Quiz

Getting to know you
What's Your Name Song
How Are You Feeling (happy great good Ok)
English names and name-tags
Class survey (find someone who)
Favorites
Alphabet game
All Together Now

Greetings
Greetings video
Hello Song (Peter Weatherall)
Hello Goodbye Song (Beatles)
Goodbye Song(Out of the Box)

Birthdays
How Old Are You? Song
Magic English Birthdays 1
Magic English Birthdays 2
Months, Dates, Days of the week
When is Your Birthday (Genki Talking Pictures)
Months and Seasons Wordsearch
The Seven Days of The Week Song
Guessing game using imaginary birthdays
1-12 Birthday Search

Telling Time
Magic English
2
What Time Is It? (Genki English Talking Clock)
Telling Time Video Part 1 (Pumpkin English)
Part 2
Changable Clock With Rising/Setting Sun
Video:Daily Routines
morning, afternoon, evening, night
Muzzy Good Morning Song
Pumpkin Video "What Do You Do In The Evening?"
In the Evening Song
What's the Time Mr. Wolf? Game

It's Sumertime!
Summer Clothes Flashcards
Journey to Earnie Video
Summer Wordsearch
At the Beach Video
Book: What was I scared Of?
Run and slap game

Clothes:
Clothes Flashcards
Song: Clothes Peter Weatherall
Use Magazines to cut out clothes and make a book
Student Speaking: What are you wearing?
Busy Beavers Clothes song

Shopping:
At The Store Video
Shopping Trip Role Play
What to wear, what not to wear book

Fruits and vegetables
Some Guy at the Farmer's Market
Vegetable Insturments Video
Healthy Eater What Do You Eat?
The Very Hungry Caterpillar
Annoying Orange

At The Restuarant
Healthy Food Not Junk Food (Beavers)
E Eats Everything (TMBG)
Ordering
Mr. Bean at the Restaurant
Denny's Commercial (Nanerpus)
Restaurant Role Play
Denny's Kid's Menu
Kid's Menu
Who Stole the Cookie Chant.

At Home
Magic English At Home (Part1)
Magic English At Home (Part2)
Rooms In a House Song (Busy Beavers)
House Song (Peter Weatheral)
Potato People Video

Kitchen
Kitchen Vocab
PPT Kitchen Vocab
The Faucet's Leaking (Martians)
Kitchen Bingo
Video: What's Inside the Kitchen? (Next one is what's inside the fridge)
Who Stole the Cookie Chant

Brainstorm What's in a Living Room
Living Room FlashCards
House Word Search

Dining Room
Dining Room Video (Busy Beaver)
Online Matching Worksheet

Last Day!
Video: House Hold Chores

Review Hello Goodbye Song

Students Speaking: What do you do to help out?

What's In a House Hangman
Pictionary
Daily Activities Worksheet
Three Little Pigs Roll Play


Colors and Shapes
What Color Is This?
Barney's Rainbow Song
Color Bingo
Roy G. Biv TMBG
Simple Shapes Flashcard
Elementary Shapes Video
Advanced Shapes Video
Nonagon Song (TMBG)
Adv: Wheel of Colors, Shapes, Sizes
Beg: Color and Count Shapes
Colors and Shapes Quiz
Spelling game

Professions
Gorilla Employment Agency (Sesame Street)
Job Vocab
Job Song (weatherall)

Where Are You Going
Directions
I Am Standing In Front Of The Chair
Buildings Flashcards
Blindfold or Role Play
Guess Who? (From open class 'She has a red shirt.' etc)

Traveling
Transportation Flash Cards
Words in the City
Peter Weatherall Song
Wheels on the Bus song
Countries
Transportation
Vacation

Superheros
MES English
Draw a comic book
Pages: Name of super hero, appearance, powers, weaknesses, likes, dislikes

Outer Space
Planets Position Video
Planet Size Video
Planet Flashcards
Martians Find Earth Sesame Street
Elmo Dances on the Moon
The Whitest Kids You Know
Davy Crocket King of Outerspace
Aliens
Twinkle Twinkle Little Star

Weather
What's the Weather Like?
Weather Flashcards
Mr. Golden Sun

Xtras
What Are You Doing Game
Drawing Game
Go for G And Alphabet (TMBG)
Apartment 4
Alphabet Lost and Found
Animaniacs Nations of the World
Kiwi (Worksheets Here)
For the Birds (Pixar)
Where are You? (Listen and Repeat Busy Beaver)
Stop! Game
Nursery Rhymes (Ding Dong Bell)
Mr Bean Goes to the Dentist (Part 1)
Mr Bean Goes to the Pool
What Can Sunny See?(Cat Story Listen and Repeat)
Wave With This Hand Goodbye Song
Gummibar(Go For The Goal)
What Did You Do Song (Cheese Looking Thing)

Lots of esl games

4 comments:

Danielle said...

Awesome...
I don't teach elementary, so I can't use them, but thanks for sharing anyways.

ahuskerinkorea said...

Jesus Tits!!! This is all I ever wanted to Christmas. I'm serious. I went from a school and nicely prepared everything for you, to one that says "Entertain these little shits for an hour won't ya?"

Priceless!

Ironhead said...

Wow! This IS a good help to all those EFL-slaves in the ROK doing the "beloved" old Winter Camp thing right around now, Sqrlnutz.

Guess by now you've noticed that the IOK Board got zapped by Proboards... a TOS violation whatever the hell THAT means... probably a lot of things combined. So much for FREE speech and the exercise of the First Amendment on the Internet, huh?

RK is out of pocket on vacation until after the first, but THAT Board ...our online abode out here in the ether for all the once, current, and future Idiots in the ROK and elsewhere... is gone for good.

Some of the Idiots are making noise about making a New and IMPROVED IOK Board, but I'm gonna wait and see what RK decides after he lands after the first of the year.

Whatever happens, take care of yourself and AwesomeCool and Mini-Sqrlnutz and Little Awesome.

The Idiots of Korea will still be around. Just not THERE anymore.

But whenever you read Kang, Shin-Who bitching in the Korean Times about the "Foreign" EFL Teachers taking their women here in the ROK, know he is talking specifically about an Idiot.

Whenever you hear about some EFL Teacher getting drunk in Korea and stealing some adjossi's motorcycle and tearing ass down the highway at 150 kph in their underwear yelling that they are Jesus, know that they are talking about an Idiot.

Whenever you hear about some "Waygook" in the ROK REFUSING to do the "Shiny, Happy People" dance at an EPIK Conference with all the others, know that they are talking about an Idiot.

We'll still be around... somewhere.

Once an Idiot, always an Idiot.

Take care of yourself, Lady Sqrlnutz.

Ironhead said...

It's just not the same without a Lady Sqlrnutz around.

http://idiotsofkorea.proboards.com/index.cgi