Friday, October 8, 2010

Life In The Dark Ages

I got the hell out of the goat house, only to find myself without any of the modern conveniences I've become accustomed to. Like a phone. I'm not talking a fancy cell phone, just a house phone. There is also no internet. But there's only one goat, who is appropriately in a field far away, so I think I traded up.

I haven't even started looking for a job. Not that I could without Craigslist or a paper. Not that I'm looking forward to joining the minimum wage crew anytime soon. I was kind of hoping Mr. AwesomeCool would step up, but so far, he's investing all his time in moving the goats from the back porch to a decrepit barn up the hill. Because apparently that's super important.

One thing that I'm not ready to accept yet is that anyone, anywhere at anytime can come up and start talking to me for any reason and I'm expected to respond in some way. I was at the ballet studio, waiting for Mini-Fantabulous to finish class and some woman verbally accosted me with questions about teaching ESL in Korea.

Mostly she just wanted to use my minimal responses to further her own talking points. However, she said that it has always been her dream to teach English in another country. I felt sad for her, because she's never going to do it. I could just tell. She's too entrenched in this crappy city.

Speaking of crappy city. I hate RainyTown. Before I left, I thought my hatred might have been related to the weather or the 'struggling just to get by' lifestyle, but I felt nothing but animosity upon touchdown. In fact, I'm blaming the fact that I burst into tears on my last day of work when signing out for the last time, on my deep sorrow about where I was headed the next day (bursting into tears in front of the vice-vice principal and the secretary was not on my list of things to do for my last day).

I was expecting to get some joy from being back in the USA, my home, where I was born, where I speak the language, but I feel like I'm covered in a thick, viscous, slime of dismality. I truly dislike this place and want to get out as soon as possible.

However, like that woman who always dreamed of teaching ESL, I'm anchored down by two little kids who aren't quite as adventurous. Frankly, I don't see what the big attraction is. Mini-Fantabulous has to be the only child in the history of the world who absolutely loves middle school.

Speaking of school, what's the point?? I felt pretty bad about the lackluster effort I made at homeschooling them. I bought them three books: A math book, a reading book and a Spanish book. They spent less than an hour a day. Originally I wanted to un-school them, but I quickly realized, I'm just not the type to create a teaching moment out of baking cookies. Anyway, who am I kidding? I haven't baked a cookie in years. I was pretty sure they would be hopelessly special ed when they returned.

However, with less than an hour of study a day, they're ahead in math, writing and about even in Spanish. Why have them go to school for 7 hours a day, then have them come home and do homework for another hour? I pointed this out to Mini-Fantabulous.

"Do you realize that you used to do about 45 minutes of homework, then you had the rest of the day to do whatever you wanted."

"Yeah. But I like school."

"Well . . . WHY???"

"*Shrug*"

*Shrug* is not a good enough answer. Therefore, I'm not committing to being here for more than a school year. I don't know what I'll do or where I'll go, but I'm dragging my kids, kicking and screaming if necessary, somewhere else.

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