Sunday, October 10, 2010


Today was quite a landmark in the SuperFantabulous household. Suddenly, without any warning whatsoever, Mini-Fantabulous became a teenager! Gasp to the nth degree!

13 years old!! WTF! STFU! OMFG!

What happened to that little baby I brought home from the hospital and wondered, "What in the hell am I supposed to do with this wiggly little demanding thing?" Somehow she survived my somewhat lacking maternal instincts and is now ready to be sold into marriage. (Any bachelors out there willing to pay a ridiculously substantial dowry, apply via the comment section and please note: What she lacks in being able to get along with people in a way that is not violent or indifferent, she more than makes up for in looks.)

Mr. AwesomeCool attempted a vegan cheesecake. It totally sucked. His cheesecakes are more miss than hit. About 5 years ago, he discovered the secret to perfect vegan cheesecake, then somehow lost it. It's a tragedy beyond comprehension.

Aside from the super annoying fact that I warned him well a head of time that attempting a cheesecake would be too risky and to go with the more reliable chocolate mousse pie, it didn't matter too much to me, because about five years ago he also discovered the secret to vegan whipped cream. I skipped the cheesecake and ate about two cans worth of whipped and chilled coconut milk straight from the bowl.

Earlier, in my quest to find the perfect 13 year old type present, I ventured into a mall. It was even more horrible than I remembered. We walked about fifty feet in and I was like, "Let's get the fuck out of here."

Luckily my sister was with me. She is more adept at shopping-type situations. She said, "Maybe we should look around a little bit."

So we found stuff and took it home. A party ensued. Typical of life 180 miles south of RainyTown, a goat was invited to the party. At first he seemed like he was going to be cool. Then he got a little too cozy with the cheesecake. Then he started jumping on the counters and he was invited back outside. He did not leave willingly. He had to be escorted via a shoving, dragging technique off the premises.

Other than that minor incident, my induction int0 teenage parenthood couldn't have gone more smoothly. We'll check back in a few months from now.

1 comment:

Mister Baekseju said...

Happy birthday to your little one! We were born the same day... 12 years apart :p