Thursday, September 9, 2010

For the Love of Christ

So, I want Little Awesome to go to the school she went to before we left. The problem is, it's a special school. No, not that kind of special. Despite any questionable genetics she may have inherited from Mr. AwesomeCool, she's a bright kid.

Lots of people want their kids to go to this school. Enter: the school preference lottery. Every March before the following school year, people have to fill out a form and take it to the district office by 5:00 on the deadline or so help them! They and their children will be trapped in public school hell for another harrowing nine months.

Round One. Mr. AwesomeCool and I are a pair of shady motherfuckers. So we filled out the form, emailed it and had someone else turn it in by proxy. However, our proxy did not get the part where they don't tell them that we're out of the country. Granted, I didn't spell it out, but only because I thought it was fucking obvious. Sadly, Little Awesome missed out on the lottery.

Round Two. Little Awesome is back home, her address is appropriately within the district boundaries, so I asked about sending the form in again. Apparently international scams to get your kid into this Uber-Special school are not easily forgotten. The bureaucratic Drone Woman seems to be holding a grudge.

Via Email-
Me: Little Awesome is now in the US, living with her aunt within the school district. Is it OK to email the form or should we fax it?
Her: When you get back in the country you can bring the form in.
Me: Why do we have to be there? My aunt has guardianship of her and lives within the district boundaries.
Her:It says on the form that parents have to be living within the district boundaries.
Me: Actually, it says, "Families must be living within the district boundaries." Am I to take it that foster kids and orphans are not allowed to fill out the form then?
Her: It would be more helpful of you would call and we can talk about it.
Me: That could be difficult, because as you know I'm in Korea right now and the time difference could be a problem.
Her: I'm in my office from 8-5 PST
Me: Yes, well, I kind of assumed you were on the same coast as the school, but thanks for assuming I'm a complete imbecile.

So then I did what any reasonable person does when someone pisses them off. I Googled her. And here's what I discovered:

Miss Drone is a hardcore Christian, verging on fanatical. Suddenly it all made sense. I would be a grumpy power tripper too if I had to read the bible, go to church every Sunday, attend masses, write inspirational sermons, pray and constantly worry about my soul. What a drag!

I nodded my head, filled with sympathy, "Oh, I see. The power of Christ compels you!!
To be a complete bitch."


Artsarah said...

Why can't you just send little awesome in with all the other students and see if anyone notices? Pretend like you thought she was always enrolled because apparently they will hold her place for one year. It has only been one year, right? This is so infuriating.
Is there any way we can get the girls together if she's back in town?
And yes, hardcore christians are so annoying!

Anonymous said...

True, I may be filled with an odd concoction of soju, makolli, and maekju, (dear God how do you spell these things)... but you just made me laugh so hard I literally spilled my free glass of "mul".

No joke.

Thankfully I ran to the bathroom, stuffed my pockets full of all the one-ply crappy-crap-paper that would fit and dried off my keyboard.

Hopefully I don't die in my sleep.

Karma seems to be stronger than normal in Korea.

Anywho. Have a good even, if the power of Christ compels you that it!