Wednesday, July 28, 2010

Shrek in 4D

I saw it on another blog and I had to have it. Forget that for all five of us to go it cost $80 and took over an hour of our lives just sitting on a crowded subway to get there. Also forget that it's in a huge mall. I hate all sorts of things, but the creepy feeling I get from milling around a mall among mall people tops the list.

However, being an aficionado of cheap (figuratively), lame entertainment, how could I resist? Well, obviously I couldn't. So I rounded up the Bastion of Longhead and we saw that fucking Jolly Green Ogre in 4D!

Honestly, it was not that great. The seats move, air blows on your face, things push through your seats, but worst of all, during opportune moments, water squirts out from the seat in front of you.

The second it hit me in the face several questions came to mind:

1. Where do they get that water from and is it at all, in anyway purified or otherwise rendered sterile?
1. How long does it sit in there before they change it?
2. How often they clean the nozzle it squirts out of?

Yeah, these were ultra-important concerns and they consumed my mind for the rest of the movie.

Later, while I was grappling with the sudden, startling, realization that I have become the type of person that will drop nearly $100 on a movie like it ain't no thing, we followed our little pre-teen shopaholics into a store where we stumbled upon a shirt that had "Camel Toe" scrawled across the front in huge block letters.

It would have been way better to see on on some hapless Korean, but at least the potential was there. It was then that I realized, all in all, it had been a very good day.

1 comment:

Berly said...

What the fuck was the water for? Like a mister? That is gross.