Friday, July 23, 2010

Mook of the Week!!

I'm totally stealing this title from What The Kimchi because it's just so fucking apt.

For this week's Mook I nominate none other than my very own Mini Fantabulous and Little Awesome. Their recent work in the area of 'disgusting bathroom escapades' have garnered them this prestigious award.

It all began a few days ago when Mr. AwesomeCool and I arrived home from work, tired and sweaty. I also really had to pee. My pee plans were soon to be completely dashed. Upon walking in the door, my progeny had a series of announcements to deliver:

Little Awesome: Don't go in the bathroom, the toilet's clogged and filled with dung.
Me: What?!!!!
Mini Fantabulous: The toilet over-flowed this morning.
Little Aweseome: She went dung and it overflowed, then I went dung and it overflowed again.
Mini Fantabulous: So you probably shouldn't go in there. It smells horrible.

They said these things nonchalantly, as if it were a perfectly normal thing for the toilet to be continuously overflowing to the point that the general consensus is that the whole area should just be abandoned. The toilet is a mess, rather than do anything about it, let's just forget we ever had one. Seriously?!

Seriously. This is what I get to come home to. A bathroom full of shit water. Once the motherly 'my kids can't be this stupid' stun wore off I was pretty furious.

Me: Why did you keep taking dumps and flushing it if it was clogged!
Them: *shrug*
Me: Well why didn't you go get a plunger?!
Them: *shrug*
Me: Why didn't you go downtown to take a dump! There's a million public toilets down there! At any given moment at least one of them should be functioning!
Them: *shrug*
Me: Well, OH MY GOD!! I can't be in a house with shit water all over the floor!! You have to clean it up!!
Them: Fine! We'll clean it up! Just GO AWAY and stop freaking out!

Mr. AwesomeCool and I went to the hardware store to procure a plunger. Mr. AwesomeCool picked out a fancy one with 'pump action'. I was not thrilled about the 'pump action'. It looked way too complicated. And what if we tried it and it didn't work? We can't very well return a shit-water soaked 'pump action' plunger can we? I think not!

Mr. AwesomeCool insisted on his 'pump action' plunger. We got home to find the bathroom floor covered in soapy foam, the Mini and Little dutifully scrubbing. The 'pump action' plunger went in the toilet. Little Awesome gagged and ran out of the bathroom. Rather than be in any way helpful, I covered my eyes and nose and ran to my bedroom.

Amazingly, everyone was able to continue on without my supervision. A few minutes later the toilet was clear and the bathroom floor sparkling. I was able to come out of my hiding place.

"Yay!" I said doing my best 'unclog the toilet cheer', "We did it!"
"Yep, we sure did." Mr. AwesomeCool agreed, though not very enthusiastically.
"Whatever." Said a sweaty Mini Fantabulous, putting the mop away.
"Yeah, whatever." Agreed Little Awesome laying the scrub brush back in the sink.

For some reason, they didn't feel hiding under the covers in my bedroom was the best way to spend my time during this horrible crisis.



Flint said...

Heh ... mini-mooks! :)

loco said...

Once the motherly 'my kids can't be this stupid' stun wore off I was pretty furious.

I bet! It must have been a blow. Damn, did they come from me?
Good stuff!

SuperFantabulous said...

Flint: Thanks for the inspiration!
Loco: Thanks! It would have been quite a blow if I didn't have frequent bouts of paralyzing stupidity myself.