Thursday, June 24, 2010

Decision Time!

Mr. AwesomCool's school is demanding to know whether he will renew or not. My school has yet to say anything on the matter. I get the feeling they're going to trade in for a different sort of Longhead.

Remember a few months ago when we were deciding between going to school in England or opening a restaurant in Uruguay? No? well good because that's all changed now.

Now our choices are as follows:
1. Spain
2. Stay here
3. Move to Alaska where Mr. AwesomeCool will tap into his thin, shallow native roots and join a dental health aid program after which he will practice what is the equivalent of dental hygiene on steroids in his native village of Craptaculous.

As far as the eyeball challenge goes, I managed to go 5 days without putting my glasses on once! If you knew how blind I was you would realize that is a miracle in itself. Today I had to put them on for just the tiniest fraction of a second to help Mr. Giggles spell "Love Potion Number Nine." It was a serious issue.

There is still no improvement in my vision. I haven't been able to tap into and resolve whatever childhood trauma got me into this whole mess in the first place. I'm stubborn that way.

In still other news several members of the coven here at Bastion Longhead have decided that various body piercings are necessary and acquiring them is of the most pressing nature.

A subcommittee was formed (by me) and I was elected (by me) "Grand Master of Getting Holes Punched in People's Faces". I'm on a mandate to get that taken care of this weekend. Hopefully no one will end up with a paralyzed or otherwise irrevocably damaged face as a result of my leadership.

One of my first acts was to form a subcommittee on getting a dangle in Mr. Awesomecool's dingle. Unfortunately the vote was interrupted when Mr. AwesomeCool ran from the room screaming. Don't worry, SuperFantabulous readers. One way or another, we'll get 'er done.


Artsarah said...

Oh my god, another great post. I think body piercings rule but then I'm too much of a chicken shit to get them done so what do I know.
I'm voting for you to come back to Eugene because, my god, if you're coming back to the States why go somewhere that sucks even more than Eugene. I'm thinking that would be Alaska. Not that I know that much but hell!! And I must be honest in that I'm incredibly selfish. I just want you back cuz I miss your acerbic, sarcastic sense of humor and your daughter happens to be my daughter's best friend of all time and I'm constantly reminded of that. *sigh* just sayin.....

SuperFantabulous said...

I miss you too!! The only solution is for you and your family to start following my around the globe.