Thursday, May 20, 2010

I've Hated You So Long

I've been thinking of you.

The damp, earthy smell that came off your skin after the spring rains. The first fleeting light in your eyes when the clouds finally scattered. The way you looked in the warm sunshine with the sour plum blossoms falling all around you. The hot, sweltering nights under the stars. We threw off the blankets and still sweat through our clothes.

I forget how quickly the light could fade. I forget that you could be cold. The pain was less than I remember it, wasn't it? The dark places weren't really so dark, were they? I forget the icy numbness and the shadows that stretched across the sky. I forget how much it hurt when the rain fell
and fell
and fell

Yes, I fucking miss you. I finally really fucking do.