Saturday, May 29, 2010

Ik or Ek

Today I had a consult with an eye slicing doctor. Although my myopia is beyond severe (I can't see five inches in front of my face without it being blurry) my cornea is freakishly thick. I was not one bit surprised to hear this. After researching all this eyeball eviscerating shit, I said to myself, "I bet my cornea is unusually thick." I knew this truth deep down in my heart.

Why am I right about weird things like this and not about big life decisions I will never know. However, thanks to my thicky thick cornea, I can get either lasik or lasek. Now I just have to decide which or any. Having my eyeball cut, flapped and ground down by a laser does not sound very pleasing. A very difficult decision.

On the subway ride to the clinic the woman next to me was reading a Korean/English bible. It was boring as hell. She would read, like, a word then doze off. She kept leaning in my direction during the unconscious part of her bible study. I tried to ignore it, but soon her head was hovering near my shoulder. My first reaction was to knock her bible out of her hands.

Through trial and error, I've mostly learned not to go with my first reaction. I elbowed her instead. She didn't like that very much. She glared at me then searched her bible for answers on what to do with an elbowing Longhead. Unfortunately, her bible was incredibly boring. She decided to go back to sleep instead. She got elbowed by a Longhead again.

After my appointment, my pupils were huge. I wanted a hat to shade my eyes. I found one at a street vendor that I really liked. I tried it on. I asked how much it was.

"10 sousand wan."
"8." I offered.
"No."

I threw the hat back on his stupid table and walked away.

We went to eat at The Loving Hut in Sincheon. Outside the Hyundai Department Complex, there was a giant white ball that had something to do with South Apreeka and World Cup Soccer. There were pens attached and people were signing it.

I had to get in on that noise. I signed SUPERFANTABULOUS very high up where the others couldn't reach (along with my freakishly thick corneas, I've also been blessed with freakishly long arms). I can outreach Mr. AwesomeCool by a good four inches. So I signed for him too: MR. AWESOMECOOL.

Go see my name, you'll see I was there and you'll feel closer to me than you already do.

On the way to the subway station, I found another hat. They guy once again wanted '10 sousand wan'.
'8.' I said.
'lasdkjflsj'
I took that as a yes. I gave him a '10 sousand wan' bill, expecting change.
He didn't give it.
I demanded answers.
'10 sousand wan. 8, no.'
I demanded my money and threw his hat back on his stupid table.

I went into the Hyundai Department Complex. I saw the exact same hats that I was bickering over for '34 sousand wan'. I felt stupid. I wish I'd just bought the stupid hat. But why buy a hat for 10 sousand when you can get it for 8 sousand?

I'm not sure exactly why the street vendors were able to refuse my stunning offers. It could be because my pupils were extremely dilated. It might have given them the impression that I liked those hats a lot more than I actually did. Or maybe my pitch black eyes freaked them out a little. Who the fuck knows. The important thing to remember is that I didn't get what I want and that sucks.

1 comment:

Artsarah said...

Brilliant! I love the bible study story. Haha!