Friday, April 30, 2010

Psychoanalysis Time!

Reality must be avoided! Times are tough. The food challenge has become quite challenging. Mostly because I'm too lazy to make all my own food. It's annoying, but I do it. I'm also bored. I see the same old shit no matter where I go. I really want to be somewhere more interesting.

To combine my two complaints into one fabulous torture fest, I've been watching "No Reservations". This guy, Anthony Bourdaine, goes to other countries and eats the foulest local food imaginable. I get to watch a guy eat orgasmically. I get to watch a guy go to cool places and have adventures. It makes me so jealous I want to throw up, but I still get sick enjoyment out of it.

There are two areas in my life where I have supreme discipline:

1. Exercise. I will not miss a day of exercise for anything. If I have a flight at four in the morning, I get up at 3 and exercise. And it doesn't count as exercise unless there is lots of sweat and lots of heavy breathing.

2. Food. Nothing enters my mouth unless it is of the purest, most plant-based quality. I'm very close to my extended family. They all hate to do anything food related with me because I'm such a fucking bitch about it. You can't throw giant tubs of non-organic peanut butter out the window without earning a reputation.

Now I ask you: How can I be an obsessive-compulsive psycho in two huge parts of my life, yet when it comes to work ethic, I'm a complete slag? What's with the anti-career agenda? Why not have some discipline in the area of money making? Why not go above and beyond at work? What is my under-achieving problem?

While we're at it, when I play Fable why do I always end up ignoring the main story line and instead spend all my time leading droves of innocent people out into the woods where I hack them to bits? I'm also pretty focused on the real estate market.


Mr. Awesomecool said...

What does that make me, since I married you? I guess I am some sort of sadomasochist?

SuperFantabulous said...

Sorry, I'm too busy watching Eclipse trailers on a loop to give your question any kind of consideration.

Flint said...

I like Bourdaine's show. :) He is a good carnivore. :)