Sunday, April 18, 2010

30 Day Challange!

Since my life is not hard enough over here in the Roundhead Nation. I've decided to liven things up by starting a 30 day raw food challenge. I recently finished a 30 day no-sugar challenge and that was just waaaaaaayy to easy.

This raw food thing should be more interesting. It should also help guarantee my inevitable win in the six pack competition on June 1. Being in Korea should make the raw food thing easier than it would be in the US. Upon entering any given grocery store or food establishment one is inevitably confronted with gag-worthy smells and horrific born-again-vegan inducing sights.

"Can you join me?"
"Sorry, I can't. I have a douchbag English video to make for a bunch of Roundheads that will never learn any English and will probably never even set foot outside Korea!"
"Dat's Ok. Goodbye, Jinho!"
"Bye Nami!"

In other equally Super-Awesome news, all my free time is devoted to willing time to fast-forward 5.5 months. The time between is like being in labor. The pain is so intense you want to run away. But you can't. So you start hoping you'll pass out. But you don't.

Unfortunately, in any given situation, you tend to keep your wits about you and are therefore fully conscious for the whole ordeal. This time instead of a fat baby, I'll be handed a fat wad of cash. That money-baby and I are going places. Anyfuckingwhere but here.

To deal, fully consciously, I avoid going out as much as possible. My apartment represents all that is good about America. Terrible TV shows, terrible movies, and terrible video games are constantly on.

Our plebeian American accented Native English flows like a sparkling fountain. Our proper pronunciation of our r's, f's, th's, and v's is magical. We don't add a fucking 'ee' or 'uh' or 'oo' to the end of otherwise perfectly good words. Since I brought a fucking caravan with me, there are Longheads galore. I sit and stare at the green and blue eyed beauty of it all. I keep the blinds shut to further the illusion. It's fucking glorious.


Whiskey Tango Foxtrot said...

You know who else ate raw food?... Hitler.

Amandan said...

Yo! Love the blog. I'm in the about same situation as you, without the kiddies. Good luck with your 30 day challenge. I couldn't do it, fatty food is the only thing keeping me going! P.S. Be VERY careful about washing your food. The most dangerous food is raw fruits and vegetables. Bacteria, amoebas and pesticides can stay on them very easily, even after washing!

SuperFantabulous said...

WTF: Tee hee!!
Amandan: You can do anything you set your mind to, dude.

Anonymous said...

Good luck!

Just one question- How did you manage your 30 day sugar challenge in Korea? Everything Koreans touch has sugar in it, including the kimchi. My system was so in shock from all the sugar added to even 'healthy' food when I first arrived in Korea and I was certain they even injected sugar into the vegetables.

SuperFantabulous said...

We make 99% of our own food in Korea for exactly that reason along with the prevelance of fish sauce and milk in everything.