Saturday, March 13, 2010

SuperFantabulous American Bullshit!

I've met a lot of Europeans while over here in the ROK. I have learned that Americans seem to have a bit of a reputation. I also tend to find Americans extremely annoying. However, most of the western world doesn't seem to know a lot about the plight facing the average American worker. And why should you? You've got more important things to think about, like where to spend your next paid vacation, or which doctor to go to when you've got the sniffles.

Americans have a lot to worry about. We might act out a little to relieve the stress.

Sure, we still drive our cars:

Enjoy our food:

We get our hate on:

We can't help the way we are. The higher ups have devised a few ingenious rules to keep us in a daze and at their bidding:

1. First things first: Control the information. If you have a message, what better way to get it out than to be one of the few who decides what is covered in the media? Conversely, if there's something you'd rather not have the masses know about, keep it under wraps. No need to get anyone riled up.

This way, you can keep people focused on what's really important. If they're worried about John and Kate plus 8, they won't have to bother with who's dick their rep is sucking and why people might feel like flying planes into their buildings. Give the people what they want! Spend all day covering the Oscar's when there's wars and riots and shit going on all over the world. Who's wearing Versace? I'm gagging to know.

2. Keep people in debt. Give everyone a credit card! What better way to keep American minds off their troubles than to have them buy things? Americans are nothing if not the biggest, bestest consumers in the world. We'll buy anything.

While we're working our ass off to pay for all those shake weights, we won't have the luxury of stirring up trouble.

3. While you're at it, make higher education ridiculously expensive. At the same time, why not make it impossible to progress past a minimum wage job without a college degree? This serves two purposes: Less people can attend (and are therefor more likely to provide low wage labor for the rest of their lives. Any kids they have will be in the same boat. Generations of peons at your disposal!) and those who can are handed an enormous dept as a graduation present (Bonus! Ridiculous interest rates and outrageously high late fees!) Either way, they're going to be working themselves to the bone just to get by and less likely to cause problems.

4. Why not propagate some stories about so and so who came from nothing and is now a multi-billionaire.

If the masses are not living the high-life, it's because they're too lazy or too stupid to better their economic situation. It has nothing to do with a system skewed to reward those already in power.

5. Next, throw up some arbitrary divisions. If people are busy hating each other, they won't have time to realize that they're all in the same sinking boat. They also won't realize that there are more of them than there are of the people that put them in the boat. They'll be too busy throwing each other off the boat to realize that if they worked together, they could not only get out of that goddamn sinking boat, they could go after the assholes that put them in there!

6. Get people to believe that their sinking boat is the best boat in the world! Anyone who notices that it has a few sizable holes and a tattered sail is a freak and deserves to walk the plank. Also since our sinking boat is the best in the world, there is nothing wrong with aiming our cannons at some of the other sinking boats hanging around. Our captain has needs. His close personal friends have needs. We'll go to the other boats and kill a bunch of fathers, mothers, brothers, sisters, kids, and grandparents to meet those needs. We'll say they want us there, because their captain totally sucks or that they were just about to do the same thing to us. Anyone who disagrees is a freak who hates our sinking boat freedoms.

7. You've almost got them completely under your control. Now all you have to do is scare the shit out of everyone. Get some irrational thugs with guns and tazers on the streets to enforce your stupid fucking sinking boat shit laws. Make sure they're pretty dumb so they don't feel bad about beating the shit out of people or wonder why the people on this side of town end up in jail more often than the folks just a few miles away.

Congratulations! You now have a broken people at your disposal! They're expendable pawns in your global game. They're either too tired to notice or too overwhelmed to do anything about it. Enjoy!


Mister Baekseju said...

Missis Superfantabulous,

This article coupled to your occasional comments on my diary grants you a Teddy Bear award.

This is very well written. Unfortunately, though, this kind of "ship sailing style" is not only exclusive to your Old Country, but it's expanding to the whole fucking planet, and it needs to be stopped.

I'm quite glad that it's not too much happening in my Old Country -again- at the moment. They're probably too scared to see a second 1789. The only thing that differentiates your people and mine, is that we're fucking savages and will cut the King's head and his whole fucking assembly's if they go too far... And then we'll replace them by only little less crooked leaders....

As we say in France: "The History repeats itself." and we aren't far of becoming peons again.

SuperFantabulous said...

Yay for the Teddy Bear award!!

You are absolutely right about Your Old Country. I went for a visit and I saw no less than three massive protests. Amazing. In America you rarely see anything like that. We've grown accustomed to insurmountable obstacles. Most of the people still believe in the American Dream. The people who know the whole thing is rigged, feel there's nothing we can do about it.
Actually I've been wanting to move to your old country for years for just that reason. Savages don't take shit lying down! Americans can't even get out from under the covers.
And you're right, its spreading fast. Who knows how much longer we have before it's too late.

Ironhead said...

Well written, Lady Doughnutz!

Methinks you and I have found some observations vis-a-vis "that-country-formerly-known-as-the-United-States" that we can both agree on.

Your One... Your Only...


Lay off the spam. I don't understand how you can eat that stuff.