Saturday, February 27, 2010

SuperFantabulous ADHD

Today Mr. Toad let me in on some important news. He ate ice cream last night and today he's had diarrhea all day. Thanks for sharing! I don't hear about my co-worker's bowel movements nearly enough.

Crapping is good for your health, anyway. We all know that.

He also told me that one of our sparkling students has ADHD. I was shocked. Not because of the diagnosis, rather, because there was a diagnosis in the first place. There are many kids at this school who have the most special of needs, however, they go to class with the rest of the Roundhead children and are left to scribble nonsense all over their books and jabber in a language even more primitive than Korean while the other students get their learning on.

I knew who he was talking about instantly. The kid in question is a complete maniac and ADHD, if he actually has it, which I doubt, is the least of his problems. This kid has more than a hint of complete sociopath about him. His preferred activities during class are to punch his fellow students, steal their utensils/books/papers, carve into his desk with an x-acto knife and generally mock and shout at his English teachers.

This kid is a scary, disturbed child. Any school in the US a kid like this would have long been labeled 'criminally insane' and dealt with accordingly. Korea is quite different. Hitting, shouting, moving around and otherwise disrupting class is considered a minor annoyance and the teachers are expected to put up with it.

While some kids find English class an infringement on their social time, or the perfect place to take a nap, this kid harbors an unholy hatred for English and especially Mr. Toad. He has taken it as his singular purpose in life to drive the poor man insane.

I do what I can. I pull the kid away when he thinks it it's 'strangling our friends' time, I pick him up and sit him down when he thinks it's 'rolling around on the floor kicking' time, but when he pulls out the x-acto knife and decides it's 'carving colorful artwork on the desk' time, I leave him alone. Who wants to get stabbed by a dirty, rusty x-acto knife? Not me, so in those cases, I just let him have at it.

Someone along the line has had the wherewithal to figure out something's not quite right about his kid. That is impressive. ADHD is the diagnosis du jour in the US, so why not pick that? Brilliant deductive work. Chances are slim that the parents will even be alerted to the fact that their kid has serious problems. Chances are even slimmer that once notified, the parents will bother to do anything about it besides beat the kid for bringing shame on the family.

The best case scenario is that he'll at least get some good drugs out of the whole ordeal.


Mister Baekseju said...

Until I googled it, I thought ADHD was some kind of STD or some new drug similar to ecstasy or LSD... It's probably coz I'm French. I thought Mister Toad was a naughty naughty teacher.

SuperFantabulous said...

Practically everyone in the USA has self-diagnosed ADHD. Many, many kids who just don't like to sit still for eight hours a day are heavily medicated because of it