Wednesday, February 10, 2010

My New Car!!

Prior to my car being parked on the sidewalk in front of our apartment building, I was not aware I had a car. My car was white and ugly. Not my first choice in transportation, but it beats being pressed like an aged cheese by kimchi-flavored citizens on the bus. Unfortunately, my car ownership was short-lived.

Our doorbell rang. We have a video camera on our doorbell so we can see who's out there and decide whether or not we care to answer. It's like screening your calls only better. Most of the time we suspect Roundheads of the Christian persuasion so we don't answer. This time it was a police looking guy.

AwesomeCool answered, "He's probably here to arrest you for yelling at people about Ono."
"Probably." I said, kind of hoping I would get deported.
The guy at the door was the building manager. Seeing as how we've been here for almost five months and have never spoken a word of Korean to anyone, he thought speaking rapidly in his native tongue at us would be the best way to get things done.

Security Guy: 난센스 어리석은 벙어리 난센스!
AwesomeCool: Blank stare.
Security Guy: 나는 당나귀 얼굴이고 둥근 머리가 있다!
AwesomeCool: Hanguk Obsoyo.
Security Guy: 94621
AwesomeCool: ?
Security Guy: Cha!
AwesomeCool: Cha?
Security Guy mimes driving a car.


I step in at this point to expedite the situation: No car! Car no!

The security guy leaves.

I go to look out my window to see what the fuss was about. That is when I see my car parked on the sidewalk. Who else's care would it be? Seeing as how we've been living here for almost five months and have never once been anywhere near a car except in the crosswalk when some Roundhead was trying to run us over, it's completely obvious that we would the culprit of this highly inappropriate car parking. Who but a stupid Longhead would be dumb enough to park their car on the sidewalk?

The security guy was back down at the sidewalk walking around the car, staring at the windows. He looked around for other Longheads in the area who may be responsible. In the end, the Longhead perpetrator was found, or the car got towed. Either way, my moments of blissful car ownership were all too fleeting. I was so looking forward to driving around like a one armed blind chimpanzee with Tourrette's.

Sigh.

2 comments:

Flint said...

Of course it must be your car and your fault. You are a foreigner and within 50 metres of it.

Stupid mooks.

SuperFantabulous said...

Yes, it only makes sense that the people with no means or desire to have a car would buy one just to park it on the sidewalk.