Monday, March 29, 2010


The Shiny Suit co-teacher has proven himself to be quite the sensitive soul. I'll have to try very hard to remember that. I don't want to be responsible for anyone's suicide while I'm in the Roundhead Nation. That might look bad.

His first day teaching did not go so well for him. I keep forgetting that these new teachers are innocent little babes, just out of 'teaching school.' I expect them to be some kind of experts, just because they have a teaching degree. I forget two things in this equation:

1. They have never taught in a school whereas, I have been 'teaching' for almost six months.
2. Nobody bothers to tell them shit.

Mr. Shiny Suit didn't know what time school started. He arrived an hour and a half early. He also had no idea where his classes were.
"Where is 5-3?" He asked.
"I think it's on the fourth floor."

I was wrong. Since the start of the new year, they've added two more classes. That has completely fucked up the classroom situation. Although they have room to keep all the grades on the same floor, they couldn't figure out how. So a few sixth and fifth grade classes are completely out of order and isolated from the rest of the herd.

He came back from his first class devastated.

"I want to play a game in class, but a girl ask, 'why!'" He shook his head sadly.

A girl in his class was not super excited about game playing? How could she?!?!

Next class something even more terrible occurred.
"Does this look like a woman's bag?" He held up his ubiquitous man purse.
I knew I couldn't tell him the truth. He was having a bad day.
"Yes, it does look like a woman's bag." I'm just too honest for my own good.
He nodded and looked at his purse sadly, "Some students say, 'that looks like a woman's bag. They asked me: Are you a woman?'"

I am completely confused as to why they would say that. All Roundhead men carry those purses, why did it suddenly occur to them that it was a woman's purse? What's the fucking dealio, yo? Did they suddenly emerge from their transvestite stupor? Are skinny jeans and mushroom haircuts on their way out too?

He tried to make everything better by inviting a herd of boys into my English Office and giving them candy. I don't think they deserved it and several of them insisted on giving me high-fives.

Since it was lunch time, this meant that I had to walk a mile to the bathroom to re-wash my hands. Perhaps hand washing will catch on now that cross-dressing is suddenly so passe. We can only hope. And keep plenty of hand sanitizer around.


Mike in Korea said...

maybe like that monkey in outbreak your school will be ground zero for hetero cultural in korea

Anonymous said...

Wow, you got the gift! Short, concise, witty, pithy, wow. Personally I gotta work on the concise/pithy thing. I'm impressed and a little jealous. Will add you to my faves immediately.

SuperFantabulous said...

Mike: And you're leaving! You're totally going to miss the superfantabulousness of it all!

Loco: Thanks! My ego would be bursting at the seams except I had to look up 'pithy.'