Monday, March 22, 2010

Cheating, Cheater who Cheats!

Hey, Homos! What's up?

News! Mr. AwesomeCool has employed a new vicious attack upon my chiseled abs. He and his little minions have been baking cookies non-stop. This disturbing development began early Saturday and continued all through Sunday. The result: Chocolate chip and chocolate chocolate chip cookies galore.

He's using his confectionery prowess for evil! He must be stopped! I'll admit, there was a time when I would put away a six or seven of those chocolaty delicacies in one sitting. That was before my new destiny became clear. You will not bring ruin to my middle so easily, Mr. AwesomeTool! I will resist! (Most of the time!)

Secondly: Thanks in large part to our epic Saturday Workout from the Depths of Hellxxxxx!!!!, we wanted, no, NEEDED some kind of release from the full body aches that wracked our bodies the next day.

Sunday, we went looking for a massage parlor. However, we have heard a few things about massage parlors in the Roundhead Nation. All indications are that some of them offer more 'release' than 'we' were looking for. 'We' were 'wary'. (I say 'we' only because my husband and I have morphed into two extensions of the same amalgamous creature. Really, it was only 'he' who would have gotten the 'extra-double-plus-gooooooood massage'. Furthermore, does anyone really believe 'wary' is the right word for how 'we' would feel about such a possibility?)

For those of you not lucky enough to be initiated into the Roundhead Nation, massage parlors have barbershop poles on the outside. Depending on how 'good' the 'service' is, there are one or two or more. We don't know what the code is. We wandered around and saw some with two, three and up to five spinners, spinning furiously, enticingly, spasmodically.

We had no idea what any of it meant. 'We' decided more research was in order. So we went home. 'We' ate many cookies. 'We' forgot about the research. 'We' ate more cookies instead. 'We' were every bit as satisfied as 'we' would have been, had 'we' gone through with the massage. 'We' like chocolate, very, very much.

2 comments:

Mister Baekseju said...

We used to go to get a massage twice a week back when we lived in China.

I've never had one since we live in Korea... I guess I'll get one in Thailand.

Mr. Awesomecool said...

I need to bake some more cookies.