Tuesday, February 16, 2010

Fun With Matricide!

For Mr. Toads last class, we had 'role play'. As in, "Let's role play with Ms. SuperFantabulous!" There's also, "Let's play with Ms. SuperFantabulous!" No matter how many times I heard it, I couldn't help but cringe.

This 'role play' was an adulteration of a traditional Korean folk tale. In the original tale, the mother is wandering in the mountains while her children are at home alone. Supposedly she has a good reason for being up there, but that part was not discussed. She meets a tiger who eats her. Then the tiger goes after the children. He goes to the house and growls, "I'm your mother let me in!"

The kids are not complete imbeciles and aren't buying it.
"You're not our mother! Our mother has a sweet voice!"
So the tiger goes and eats some honey and comes back with a sweet voice.
"I'm your mother, let me in!"
The kids are somewhat convinced so they peek out a little.
"Show us your hands! Our mother has soft hands!"
The tiger pulls out one of mom's disembodied hands. The kids are satisfied and open the door. The tiger chases them around the house for a while, then the kids run out to the garden. In the corn field they kneel down and pray.

"Please, gods help us!"
"Our mother is dead! There's no one to protect us from this tiger!"

The gods have pity and throw down a rope from heaven. The children quickly begin climbing the rope. The tiger after taking an inordinate amount of time to realize the kids are no longer in the house, runs outside. He sees the kids climbing the rope and begins climbing also.

The kids make it to heaven at which point they cut the rope. The tiger is very high up at this point and falls to his death. He lands in the corn field and apparently explodes because his blood splatters all over the corn. And that is why sweet corn has reddish leaves!

In the G-rated, non lethal version, the mom meets a tiger, a bear and a wolf. They each demand a treat from her basket. By the time the wolf comes along, threatening her with a 'horrible smile' she's had enough. She gives him the lollipop he craves, but she adds a little twist. She sprinkles on some diarrhea potion and while the wolf is running around shitting himself, she makes her escape and is happily reunited with her children.

Mr Toad and I had a discussion before hand on whether 'potion' was an appropriate word for 'medicine'. I thought not. Potion is more of a magical mixture. However, diarrhea medicine would have cured diarrhea, not cured it. Important stuff.

Today I'm on deskwarming again. My computer was not in it's computer hole this morning. I could not 'accept mystery' and went down to the teacher's office for answers. Last deskwarming, they wanted me in there, so I thought maybe I was supposed to sit with all of them.

"Is office cold?" Someone asked, clearly wondering why I was invading their space.
"Computer, not there." I crossed my forearms which is a universal Korean symbol for 'no' or 'not'.
"Oh." She went to talk to the Vice Principal. It was located and carried down to the English office and set up.
"Sorry." Vice Principal said.
"That's OK."
And it was. Cause I now I have my computer. The madness behind it's weekend storage is all extraneous nonsense. I have my computer. That's all that matters.

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