Tuesday, February 9, 2010

Free Health Care!

Today was a big day. Before I left my suckhole of a home country, I went to the ophthalmologist. I got a prescription for new glasses and a huge bill. Then, because I am super brilliant in every way, I ordered my glasses online. It was much cheaper and I got to try the glasses on via a picture I uploaded over the Internet.

I was thrilled beyond measure that I wouldn't have to go into a shop and pay three times as much to have some middle aged twat follow me around trying to be helpful because it's her job. Then, since things were going so well, I decided to cut down the prescription strength. I decided that decreasing my prescription would make my eyes stronger, cause they'd have to work harder to see, get it? I make lots and lots of sense. I did some calculations and cut my diopters by 40%.

I got the glasses a few weeks later. I opened the box and put them on. I only looked slightly weird making the trying on vicariously a resounding success. However, I could not see a fucking thing if it was more than a meter from my face. Turns out I'm not an optometrist and should nut be fucking around with prescriptions. Surprising!

Since I spent 80$ on the stupid things and was leaving before I could order more, I was stuck with them. So the whole time I've been in Korea, I've been blind as a bat. As a side note, that did not keep me from noticing how average-looing everyone here is. The drooling that goes on among my fellow Longheads confuses me. On a packed bus, I see maybe one halfway decent looking person and 9 times out of 10 it's me (I tend to stare at myself in other people's mirrors). The opposite of hotness I find among the Koreans could be that the lack of personality clouds my already faltering vision. In any case, most seem to have been beat fairly severely with the ugly stick (which is not to say that most of the worlds hasn't, I'm just saying the beautiful to ugly ratio in Korea is not anything to get excited about.)

Today I ventured over to the free foreigner clinic to get my prescription fixed. I quickly realized I was out of place. By foreigner, they didn't mean me. They meant the foreigners in the sense that Mexicans are foreigners in the US. No matter, I'm not about to let a bunch of long-haired munchkins bully me out of free health care. Bonus! For once, my non-whiteness helped me to fit in! Yay dominant genes!

After a shockingly archaic eye exam I got my new prescription and I got it completely free! I rejected the complementary frames offered on the grounds that they were hideous, but as soon as I hit up a glasses shop, I will once again join the land of the seeing.

In other news, on Friday, I narrowly escaped dinner with Mr. Toad et al:

He broached the subject after lunch:
"What you think about not going to dinner?!"
He started giggling, disturbingly, "Because we go to the restaurant that serve the goat!"
I could feel my face twist up in disgust which he found wildly amusing.
"Hahahahaha! Hohohohoho! You no like!!"
He had just gotten back from his farewell lunch (to which I was also not invited) and he was just a little bit drunk.
"You no like! Hohoho! Hahaha! Is ok? Hohoho! Hahaha! You go home!"
I nodded, "Is OK. I go home."

He was quite chatty for the rest of the day. Somehow I endured.


Mister Baekseju said...

If you get to Seoul, there's a cheap shop for glasses mounts. The shop is in Dongdaemun, in the shopping avenue. Very good prices over there, and some stuffs aren't too ugly.

That's where my wife buys hers.

SuperFantabulous said...

Thanks! I frequent Seoul and could use stuffs that aren't too ugly.