Monday, January 11, 2010

Today Didn't Suck

This was a pleasant surprise. I'm not sure what it is about Winter camp that strikes terror into my heart. It might be that I don't like kids. It might be that I don't like English. It could also be that I don't like Winter. If I keep thinking about it, I might start wondering what they fuck I'm doing here, so I'll stop.

Today I began my second week of camp. Being a pessimist (a lazy one at that) I was expecting the worst and preparing for the best. 22 fourth and fifth graders were supposed to show up, only 18 did. I assume my penchant for animal porn might have made the rounds among the parental circles. No matter, 18 kids are better than 22, so they are more than welcome to keep their kids in boring old Prudeville, while the rest of us learn valuable fornication vocabulary.

Right before class started, one of the secretaries came up to tell me something,
"Fire drill today."
"Ok."
"Don't be amazed."
"Amazed?"
"Uhhhh . . . Surprised."
"Ah. Ok."

The fire drill turned out to be a "shut the power off" drill. Around 11:00 the lights and my computer shut off.

The students were concerned.
"Ohhhhh!!"
"Moy-eh-o??"
"Why is lights!!"

They all turned to me for reassurance. I still find it hilarious that they actually consider me a real teacher-type thing who has authority and what-not. The truth is, I'm a prop. I'm something the real Korean teacher brings along to impress everybody.

Still, I reassured them.
"Don't worry, they'll come back on."

Satisfied, they went back to their coloring. Alarming crisis averted!

Given the trouble I had with my third graders, I thought nearly twice as many students would be a nightmare. It turns out Tony Student and his sidekick Gabriel Student were the naughty apples that caused the whole esl barrel to go bad. I wouldn't mind the running around in a wild, violent fervor so much if my usual tactics of using a loud voice and making scary faces intimidated these kids and made them stop when enough was enough. However, these methods have the opposite effect here. They find a shouting, angry, English speaking woman hilarious beyond belief.

The new group did not revolt as I thought they would. Not even when I tried to teach them the "My Favorite Things" song from The Sound of Music, even though it was light years beyond their ability and Julie Andrews is annoying no matter what language you speak.

Day 6 is over! Now I'm in the teacher's room watching "A Scanner Darkly" on YouTube. I tried to watch it years ago, but turned it off after about 10 minutes due to it's lameness. I'm giving it another shot, since I'm being paid to sit here for four more hours and have nothing better to do!

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