Wednesday, January 6, 2010

Rock Star

Being a non-Korean in Korea has its perks. One of them is that most Koreans actually think Americans are fucking awesome. Unlike Spaniards who were into things like "zed" instead of 'z' and 'football' instead of 'soccer' and 'plaster' instead of 'cast', Koreans have a big fat hard on for us Waygooks.

I've heard of some seriously anti-American activities here and there, but I have never personally experienced it, therefore I don't believe it exists. If it did happen to me, I would probably mistake it for something else, like a 'curturar misunderstanding' or someone having a really bad day.

Today when I returned to my temporary desk between classes I found someone else's shit there!!
"You better not be here when I get back." I said to the coat draped possessively over MY chair.
I finished my camps and came back to the teacher's room, prepared for some kind of fight to the death for that computer. If they were going to make me stay here all fucking day, I'll be damned if I was going to sit and stare off into space (that activity is reserved for when someone uninteresting is talking to me.)

I opened the door and sure enough, there was a guy sitting at MY desk! He turned. He had been waiting for me, preparing himself for the inevitable showdown. He nodded. I narrowed my eyes menacingly and nodded back. Then he immediately gathered his things and left, motioning for me to reclaim my throne.

Mr. Toad was in the same situation, but he lost his fight (being a regular Korean and not a Waygookie rock star like myself) and was relegated to sitting on the couch, occasionally jumping in on other people's conversations.

In other news, three days of camp down! Today was food day. In my efforts to spread my vegan agenda through any means necessary, I pretended meat and dairy products do not exist. My presentation was all 'begetable'.

Earlier, the Koreans, in their infinite wisdom, decided I should make sandwiches for the kids. I picked peanut butter and jelly.
"No. Jam!" Mr. Toad said.
"Fine, jam."
"How about ham? And sausage?"
My face must have done something to indicate my high level of disgust at that idea, because then he said:
"I know you don't rike, but students rike."
"Fine." I left it off my supplies list, only writing "Peanut butter, jelly, bread and 'other sandwich ingredients'".
Mr. Toad was not satisfied, "You must be specific! How about ham and sausage?!"
"Fine." I said. He wrote 'ham and sausage' on my list for me since I was obviously incapable of doing so myself.

Then today the ingredients arrived. Instead of peanut butter and jelly, sausage and ham, there were two huge jars of jam, bread, and cheese slices. So the kids had cheese and strawberry jam sandwiches and they loved it.


LouDog said...

Ewwwww...I dont know how anyone can eat strawberry jam and cheese sandwiches, without ham and sausage. That is just disgusting.

Chicken Wire, the Harbinger of Heavenly Annotation said...

Gotta love the ubiquitous, obligatory lists that produce nothing but absolute shit.

Expat Wannabe said...

Not only that, but my request for butcher paper got me two packages of paper towels.

Chicken Wire, the Harbinger of Heavenly Annotation said...

On the upside, at least they didn't send a butcher carrying a newspaper.

Danielle said...

Cheese and Strawberry = gross.

But, I definitely agree with you on the Waygookin rockstar, I think Korea is fantastic for my ego. =]