Saturday, January 2, 2010


I don't usually make new years resolutions. It isn't because I have anything against them, it's because I forget. Yesterday I announced that I had one. The family was snuggled up together on the couch watching "Step Brothers".

"My new years resolution is to be nicer to my husband!"
Everyone told me to be quiet. They were more interested in the movie, I have no idea why.

What could I do, except immediately break my new years resolution.
"Don't be such a dick!" I flailed my elbow in the general vicinity of Mr. AwesomCool's face. It's my new favorite move, so he is almost always well prepared for it. He has learned that elbows randomly hurling toward his face is a fun part of being married.

The truth is, I had absolutely no intention of keeping that resolution. I just said it to give him the opportunity to say something nice about me. He's been married to me for 13 long years, he should have known exactly where I was going with my faux resolution. He knows me well enough to know that I don't show my immense, undying love for him by saying nice things or . . . well . . . being nice.

He should have seen it coming a mile away and announced the minute the clock struck midnight that his resolution was to treat his wife like the princess she has always thought she was.
Then I'd have to call him a dick and elbow him in the face for being such a sappy schmuck. But at least that way, it would have been on his terms.

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