Saturday, December 26, 2009


To further my burgeoning relationship with Zuzana, my husband bought me a pull-up bar for Christmas. I can't tell you how glee'd out I was! There was a slight problem though, some of the parts that help the bar stay in the door jam were missing. I was afraid to use it, lest it slip and I fall on my ass mid pull up. What would Zuzana think of me them? I shudder to think.

Enter this workout:

The Blue Eyed Younger One likes to do these workouts with me and she's had her eye on this one for quite some time. So I decided to put the pull-up bar to good use and have her use it, while I use the old standby: A door with a book shoved under it to keep me from pulling it off it's hinges. Mr. AwesomeCool secured the pull-up bar in our closet, just at the right height for her to do her knee lifts. Yay!

We finished the workout without incident and got ready to go to town to see if we could trade the The Green Eyed Elder's fugg boots for a bigger size (darn her and her American sized feet!)
I ducked under the pull-up bar and started piling on the layers. I put on a few sweatshirts and chose my warmest coat. I wrapped a scarf around my head, found my gloves and was barely able to move under all the layers so I knew I was ready to go. I turned to go out of the closet and . . . BAM!!
I ran face-first into the pull-up bar.
The pain was like nothing I've felt before. I couldn't even stand up. I went from OK to collapsed on the floor sobbing in two seconds flat. I was so shocked, I couldn't even tell what had happened.
After a few more seconds I was able to get some of my senses back and figure out that I'd smashed my nose. I pulled my hands away from my face and was horrified beyond belief to see the blood streaming down.
Mr. AwesomeCool lived up to his name, for once, and knew exactly what to do and totally rushed in to save the day. He ran to get me a wad of toilet paper to swaddle my nose in and told me to tilt my head back. He also had me lay down, then he got me a towel with ice in it. What a superhero!
After a few minutes, it stopped bleeding, and I was able to drag my bruised nose and I into town. Even now, six hours after it happened, my whole face hurts and it radiates back into my skull. Now I know why in those women's self defense videos they tell you to smash the palm of your hand upward into your attacker's nose. It truly is a shocking, confusing, agonizing experience. All I know is that's the last time I ever think about harassing a pull-up bar.

Here's a video that might help you fend of an attack just as successfully as my preemptive pull up bar did.


Enormous Plumes of Smoke said...

Damn! That sounds painful. Hope its not broken.

Expat Wannabe said...

No, it wasn't broken. In fact, today it's perfectly fine. I'm disappointed that I didn't get a black eye or any bruising or swelling. For the amount that it hurt, I expected some kind of proof!