Wednesday, December 16, 2009

Bound to Happen

I've been busy. This is not a state I enjoy being in. I have Winter camps coming up in two weeks. There is a time line to this story:

Friday, 3:36. Co-teacher receives a call in MY office (I've decided it's my office out of spite and because I am the only actual English speaker in there). I am informed that I have to write three weeks of lesson plans by Monday. He hands me a sheet with an outline of lesson plans that is supposed to "give me an idea".

Saturday, I spend ALL day writing the fucking things.

Monday. Nobody asks me about it Monday and I don't bring it up.

Tuesday. They ask. I print out an outline of what I will be covering, similar to the sheet they gave me. I hand it to my co-teacher. He looks at me like I ran over his dog. He fucking hates it. His example of what they wanted is nothing like what they actually wanted. I start writing something 'more detailed' as instructed. I finish the whole thing and then, somehow delete the whole thing. Awesome.

Wednesday (today). I give Engrish Teacher Lee my 'All New! Totally Improved! 30% More Free' lesson plan. He thinks that, despite the fact that I've got each 40 minutes mapped out, it's not detailed enough.
"What do you mean it's not detailed enough?"
Engrish Teacher Lee back pedals, "Oh, the people upstairs might not say so." He took it upstairs.
The powers that be 'upstairs', They-Who-Shall-Not-Be-Named, thought it was alright except my Friday lesson on Christmas is deemed grossly inappropriate, due to the camps being after Christmas. I admit, that I hadn't really thought of that when I planned them, but what kids don't want to do Christmas stuff??
So I re-write the Christmas lesson, changing it to oh-so-boring 'Family'.
This seems to only anger Engrish Teacher Lee. He sits there like a fat toad dissecting my lesson plan part by part telling me how it sucks.
"Teachers here working rate! You go home on time every day! Now you no have time!"
Out of pity, he gives me a worksheet, that he apparently thinks is the holy grail of ESL worksheets. I totally don't get it, but out of pity to his fat toadiness, I agree to put it in.
Then I forget to put it in. I print out my "Even More NEW AND IMPROVED, buy two get one free" lesson plan.
He takes the missing worksheet extremely personally.
"Why you not put my worksheet in? You not like it?"
He won't fucking let it go, so I get pissed, "I forgot to put it in! It's got nothing to do with you! I just forgot!"
"Your lesson plan is loose!"
Shit. Now he's gone and insulted the virtue of my lesson plan.
"See here? This not take 40 minutes, but why you say it take 40 minutes?"
"Fine. I'll but your worksheet there."
"Why you have similar songs for each week?"
"Some of the songs are different."
"No . . ." He paws through it, "Same."
Shit. "The songs were different when I had the Christmas lesson. Now they're not."
"I think you not work very hard on this. You not have time now! You wait too long!"
"They just told me on Friday that I had to have them! I wrote a lesson plan how I thought it was supposed to be written! The people upstairs thought it was OK, except for the Christmas lesson which I changed!"
"They said it was not proper!" Totally missing the point, so typical of a big fat toad.
"I don't care about the Christmas lesson! I showed my plan to my husband and he said it was good!"
"You only showed it to your husband?"
"Who else am I going to show it to? I don't know anybody else here!"
Stunned silence. Apparently he was under the impression that I was close, personal friends with every foreigner in Korea.
"I've never even written a lesson plan before. I've never planned a camp before!"
"You never told me this!"
"It should be obvious! I am a co-teacher! I've never worked in the classroom by myself!" I really hate it when people do the "poor me" thing, so I am especially not proud of this part of the conversation and I avoided it as long as possible.
"I'm sorry?"
"Never mind!" I say and turn back to my computer, knowing full well that he is sitting there staring at me.
A full five minutes later, he finally regains his Engrish skills.
"I don't speak Engrish well, so you ignore me?"
I turn back, "What do you want?"
"Why are you upset?"
"I worked hard on those lessons and I thought they were good. I didn't have a lot of time to plan them."
So then he takes the "Doubly NEW and Incredibly Improved Buy One Get Two Free" lesson plans to the powers that be.
I wait for half an hour after my official end of work time to hear the verdict.
Finally he comes back and smirks at me, "What are you still doing here?"
"I thought I had to wait for the lesson plans to get approved."
"No. We talk about the lesson plans tomorrow."

Then I get home and Mr. AwesomelyLame has decided to pick this night of all nights to have soju adventures.
At 6:00 he is literally fall down drunk. He abandons half his dinner on the living room floor and stumbles to the bathroom to puke for half an hour.

And to make matters even worse. I really had to pee.


Danielle said...

I'm sorry. But I just have to laugh.

It sounds like you had an adventure. =]

LouDog said...

Ha! Your husband sounds like a dick!

Expat Wannabe said...

I agree Danielle (and LouDog)!Laughing at someone elses expense is completely acceptable and encouraged on this blog! :)