Monday, November 30, 2009

Princess FuckTard

That should be my name. And in a few minutes you will find out why.

Today was the start of the Native English Teacher (NET) orientation. My simple task was to get myself to to the designated bus pick up sight by 9:45.
I woke up early. I started out with plenty of time. Then something happened. I spaced out. I thought I had more time than I did. I was thinking the bus and the subway would be on time. End result: I got there at about 9:50. I missed the bus to the training center.
I was just calling the number to let them know that Princess Fucktard missed the bus when someone called to me,
"Hey! Are you here for the NET training?"
"Yes!"
She proceeded to tell me that we were supposed to take bus number three. I was relieved. Someone knew what to do.

Once we were on the bus, I realized someone had no fucking idea what to do. Bus number three had nothing to do with anything.
I now had a side kick. Princess Fuck-Up.
We exited bus number three after about five minutes of being complete idiots by thinking we were on the right track.
After about ten minutes of wandering, we stumbled upon the subway where we had started our grand adventure 15 minutes ago.
Nice!
After about ten minutes the subway finally arrived. We boarded. Then after about five impressive minutes of being complete idiots, we realized we were going the wrong direction.
We exited the subway and got on one going the right direction.
Now here's where I become Princess SUPER FuckTard.
I asked some random Korean (Prince ShitHead), who obviously had no idea what I was talking about or what he was talking about, if we were going the right way. Prince ShitHead said no. I believed him with all my heart and soul. Princes Fuck-up wasn't so sure. I jumped off at the next stop and she followed me against her better judgment.
Turns out we were going the right way! Prince ShitHead was a Princess FuckTard enabler!
Doh!!
Ten minutes later another subway finally showed up. By this time we are an hour late.
Randomly, this subway stopped after seven stops when we need the tenth stop.
Confusing!
We exit and ten minutes later another subway shows up. We finally arrive and hour and a half too late for the last pickup.
We take a cab at a cost of 15,000 won.
Had Princess FuckTard and Princess Fuck-Up not met, our fuckery could not have combined and a maelstrom of fuckery could have been avoided. On our own we were just a couple of dumbasses. Together we were a shitstorm of idiocy.
Not an auspicious start to our training. Perhaps something in the area of time management and avoiding fuckery will be added to the program in our honor.

2 comments:

LouDog said...

You should always follow your instincts, Your first hunch is almost always right, unless its not.

Expat Wannabe said...

Usually about four hunches down the road, I arrive at the right answer.