Friday, March 20, 2009

Speaking Of Going Down . . .

Does it bother you when you're reading a book and somebody has sex and the author gets strange about describing what they're doing?? They say something stupid like, "He cracked me wide" (that's an actual quote from a Barbara Kingsolver novel).
I'm curious to know exactly what it was he did that 'cracked her wide'. I know being flowery with words is their job and they won't miss the chance to unleash a good metaphor, but come on! What is this 'cracking' shit?! That doesn't sound sexy, that sounds painful and weird! Did she break a hip or what? Maybe he's an erotic chiropractor? I don't know. I wonder if it's just in America where they have to be obfuscating about it. I'm sure in other countries they're being normal and not cracking each other. If so, this gives the world a terrible impression of our mating habits and it needs to stop.

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