Tuesday, February 3, 2009

Back in the USSR!

Meaning the US has become a fascist police state, in case you didn't get the reference. I thought I would be at least a little bit excited, but before I left I was looking back fondly on sitting in front of the computer, in the closed in balcony, desperately hoping Mr. AwesomeCool would be on msn or Skype for me to talk to, and that the internet would work at a level slightly above a microscopic snails pace so we could at least see each other's faces.
The German helped me to the station which was a mile out of town. We dragged my suitcases, in a hurry because we were at the apartment finishing up the move out, when suddenly we realized we only had a half an hour to get there. We managed to get there on time despite there being no elevator in my apartment building, dragging the suitcases over blacktop for a mile, my little kids each pulling a suitcase with a backpack on. I almost cried when we said goodbye and then I did cry as we pulled away. We made it from Campillos to Bobadilla to Malaga to the Malaga airport. We spent the night at the airport because our checkin was at 4:45. From Malaga we went to Gatwick where we had to transfer to Heathrow (seriously, never fly with British Airlines just for this reason! They book your ticket, like it's one ticket, even though you have to get your luggage and find a way to get across London with it to a whole different airport where you have to check it all in again and go through security hell all over again!!) At Heathrow the fat bitch behind the counter decided on of my suitcases was too heavy and insisted I repack my luggage. This was highly inconvenient as all my suitcases were stuffed to the point that I thought they might burst on the trip. I pulled a few things out an reweighed it. It was still to heavy, so I lost it a little.
"They didn't say anything in Malaga!"
"BA has a 20 kilo policy."
"Well I came over here with a lot more than this and nobody cared!"
"Madam! BA has a 20 kilo policy everybody knows this."
But then she gave me a zip up plastic bag to put my excess stuff in, so maybe she does have something resembling a soul after all.
I think she was just being a bitch. Then security wouldn't allow my kid's umbrella on the plane because apparently said kid could stab someone with the cheap, dull, plastic end of it, so we had to go back through and re-check in (with a different person obviously!) and then had to take it over to "oversized luggage" because an umbrella is just so GIANT, isn't it?? I recommend to anyone doing international flying to avoid London like the plague for your transfers. DON'T FLY WITH BRITISH AIRWAYS!! From London we went to LA where I got my first taste of culture shock when somebody had the audacity to notice my passed out kids and actually bother commenting to me about it! In Spain, people don't even look at you. Then I noticed a lot of people in flip flops and sandals which I never saw in Europe. Why do the people in the US feel the need to display their naked feet?? Then on the plane somebody turned my way and smiled at me on her way to go to the bathroom. Weird.
So now I'm back home and the worst part is that it doesn't really feel like I left. Everything is exactly the same and my brain instantly latched on to everything familiar. I started thinking about going to the gym, going to Target to buy an air purifier (I never realized how bad our house smelled before!), watch movies, mess around on our SUPER FAST internet all day. My neighborhood is exactly the same. I wasn't profoundly affected by this experience, like I thought I was. The only difference is that I hate it even more than I did before. And my house is giving me asthma, something I didn't have the whole time I was gone. Boo hoo.

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