Thursday, November 20, 2008

Trading Spaces and Stealing Top Secret Info

Last Thursday I ditched my old apartment. A cockroach showed up on the bidet to say goodbye. Now I'm living with an agriculture teacher who also works at Jose Camillo Cela (did I ever tell you the name of my school? I can't remember. It's named after some great Spanish author I've never heard of). I called the owner yesterday to tell her I was gone. Head English Teacher called her numerous times last week to discuss my unhappiness with the apartment and she never called back. He thought maybe she didn't check her messages, but today, I went by the old digs to check the mail because I'm expecting important paperwork having to do with getting my residency card (which has been the bitches of all bitches to get) and LO AND BEHOLD! There was a sign saying "renting apartment here" and so I looked up the phone number of the owner in my phone to see if it was a match. It was. So she wasn't just old and stupid and didn't know how to check her messages, she was being a fucking annoying shithead and trying not to give me back my deposit!! What a whore!
However, the new apartment is just fabulous and is actually the nicest place I've ever lived. Everything is new and clean looking and not a cockroach in sight. Although, I did think they were kind of cute.
In other news last Friday Head English Teacher, The German and I went to Malaga. Super duper fun! We wandered around the city center, went to a restaurant (where I did my best to order vegan, but my fried eggplant was questionably breaded and my fried potatoes came covered in that pink goop they are so fond of here), walked past a ginormeous church, went up a hill and had coffee while overlooking the city, went to the beach (the kids poked a sea urchin and got all sandy and wet) and finally went to a huge mall that had a huge grocery store in it that had (by Spanish standards) a huge amount of organic and vegan foods. YAY!
I went bonkers and bought everything with an "Eco" label, even prunes which are not that great, even without herbicides and pesticides. The German and Head English Teacher went bonkers in the beer section. Then the girls JUST HAD to ride the escalators all the way to the top of the mall. It took, like, 20 escalator rides. I had a creepy dream like that once. I was in a huge mall and the escalators were never ending. We just kept going up and up and up.
Oh, so anyway, the point of my story was that I might actually get my NIE which is kind of like a green card. After being rejected at Antequera three times, we were told that I could either go to Jaen (2.5 hours away) or crate a new file in Malaga (45 minutes away and way cooler). So we went to Malaga to create a new file. We got there, shoving past all the people trying to get their citizenship and into the student line. After about 20 minutes we were seen and told that everything was in order and all we had to do was go pay the 10$ fee and I could get my card (in plus or minus 40 days).
So we did that, came back, waited in line again and this time we were told that it was absolutely impossible for me to get my card because some date in the computer wasn't filled out properly. And why can't you fill it out badly dressed woman with a terrible dye job? It absolutely cannot be done here. If you are lucky you might be able to do it in this other building across town before they close. Ok, bitch. Whatever.
So I angrily gathered up my papers I had strewn across her table and we stormed off, or rather wandered away dejectedly. We made it to the other building just before closing and the police officer told us, "Sorry, they're closed." Head English Teacher said, "Well, its 1:30, they don't close till 2:00 and anyway we just need to quickly change a date." Head English Teacher knows how to work the system. So the police officer went in and came back with a number for us (84!). He said 4 people were ahead of us and we might not be seen. We went in and waited. It was 79s turn. The guy flipped to 80. Nobody got up. He flipped to 81. Still nobody moved. 82, 83, 84. Yeah, 4 people were ahead of us. Head English Teacher said they just wanted to go home early. So this guy helped us, even though the copier broke down in the middle of everything. Somehow he powered through.
While we were waiting for the copier to be fixed I noticed that among my papers was a file of a Moroccan woman who was applying to return home Christmas break. I had somehow stolen her papers from that awful woman. It was her whole file, like, her passport, parents names, address here and in Morocco, everything! My first thought was to keep it so that woman would get fired. Then I thought about the Moroccan woman who would be told, "Sorry your papers have been lost. You'll have to gather all that information and resubmit it and wait in endless lines, through not fault of your own."
I'd never seen Head English Teacher laugh so hard as when I showed him that stolen file. "How did you manage to steal that woman's file?" Obviously I'm a super ninja! So after that I had to go back to the first place and return the file. They had noticed the theft because when I brought it back, they knew exactly who's desk it went to and urgently sent someone to get her. Hopefully she at least got a demotion.


Jamie Stenstrom said...

WTH. So are you coming back at Christmas or staying there??

Expat Wannabe said...

Staying so we can tour Europe.