Tuesday, August 26, 2008

Career Choice 101

Now that the freshmen have all arrived at the U of O I've got some advice on what the newbies should and shouldn't be majoring in.
Don't be like me and pay $20,000 for a lame degree you will never use. Don't get a degree in Environmental Science. Don't waste your time on a year of chemistry, two terms of physics, two terms of calculus (to this day, even trying to do simple math causes my brain to play dead), econimics, statistics.
Also, don't be like my husband and get an art degree. I'm not sure what he had to do to achieve that besides draw a bunch of crap, but his degree has not served him well. Seriously, if you really are an artist, you don't need a bunch of washed up wannabes and "almost weres" telling you how to do your shit.
Avoid history, unless your planning on doing something useful like going to medical school afterwards (that actually applies to any lame major).
Forget philosophy. Sure it sounds fun, but you can learn the same things for free by finding a nice patch of grass under a blossoming cherry tree, quieting your mind and thinking. A lot. For a long time.
Anthropology: Watch national geographic and discovery channel.
Theater: Just go to LA and see if you make it. A few months rent is far cheaper than dinking around with a bunch of no talent amateurs putting on super low budget productions of hello dolly for four years.
English: You already speak English, you are reading this.
Do yourself a favor and look through the classifieds. Things that are in there are things that you can actually get a job doing after college. Be a nurse! Accountant! Teacher! Engineer! Computer programming!
Come on, have you ever seen a help wanted ad looking for a sociologist?
Or don't go to college at all! Get a job right out of highschool and work your way up to manager, you'll be making more than most college graduates and you won't have any loan officers to avoid.
If you don't listen to me, you'll end up working at a grocery store, earning barely enough to pay the interest off your loans. You will be bitter. You will be very bitter.

No comments: