Wednesday, May 21, 2008

Weird People At Work

There was the guy who started playing the trumpet while he waited in line, then started taking requests. There was the guy who was in the freezer section looking for patchouli. There was the girl who stood in my line giggling at nothing then finally said, "Isn't there a song with your name in it?" "Yeah." More giggling, "That's so amazing!" Silence. "Thank you for your beauty and all that you do." Silence. There was the woman who when I put her things in a small paper bag (because they fit, goddamit!) she said, "Oh! You put it in a bag with no handles?" "Do you want a different one?" "No, but that's never a good idea." Unless your shit fits in one, bitch! There was another small bag snob today who got pissy with me. He's a young guy in a suit, he bought two things and asked for a paper bag, so I put it in a small one. He said, "Oh, can I get a bag with handles? I'm on a skateboard and it's easier to hold on to." "Sure." I started to take his things out of the small bag wondering why he had on a nice suit if he's riding around on a skateboard. "You can just put the little bag in the big one." "No, I'll just save it for somebody who will appreciate it." "Ok, every time I come in here you have something cynical to say to me! Whatever! I love you too!" He said as he stormed out of the store. First of all, I didn't remember him, so I have no idea what I said before. Second of all, I was joking. Third of all stop being a suit wearing, skateboard riding, fucking drama queen!
But this morning we had the weirdest visitor ever. Sam Elliot came in the store. I'm serious. The real Sam Elliot. He has really long hair now.

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