Sunday, June 1, 2008

The Same, Only Different

Some common misunderstandings of people who frequent grocery stores:
No, I am not happy to see you. Don't smile at me like you're special needs and initiate small talk. I don't really give a shit if you want paper or plastic, don't feel like you're special because I ask you. And stop fucking telling me you left your bags in the car! Go get them or shut the fuck up about it! The checker is not a free therapist. Don't talk to me about your life I don't care. If you are nasty I will think nasty thoughts about you and what you are buying. As you tottle around with your giant shopping cart, just looking for the shortest line, you annoy me by choosing my line. Like I'm so lucky to have you in my line. Don't think I remember you from some other time I've seen you. I see hundreds of assholes a day, I can't tell you from the rest. I DON'T CARE ABOUT YOU! In fact, I DON'T EVEN LIKE YOU! I'm calling you a stupid fuckwad in my head as I poorly bag your food.
My husband is working really late tonight. Still not home and it's nearly 12. I wouldn't let him ride his bike because he got off at 11, yet when I get off at 11, I take my bike home. Weird?

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